Parental Stress and Autism – Lighthouse Autism Center

How Can Parents of Children with Autism Reduce Their Stress?

We often hear the phrase, “Parenting is the hardest job in the world.” Every day, your main concern is the safety, happiness, and well-being of your child. You work tirelessly to provide love, guidance, and support while trying to mold your children into the people they have the potential to grow up to be.

While parenting certainly has its incomparable upsides, there is no denying that it is also rife with challenges. Like anything in life, it’s a learning curve. And, when you’re learning how to parent a child with autism, these challenges can be even more demanding. Balancing therapy, education, and daily routines while managing your own stress can feel overwhelming at times.

Research has consistently shown that parents of children with autism tend to experience more stress compared to other groups of parents. In fact, the relationship between parenting and autism often results in higher levels of depression, anxiety, and stress-related health issues.

Understanding and addressing parental stress is crucial for the well-being of both parents and their children. Let’s try to understand the most common stressors in parents, the effect stress has on both parents and children, as well as ways to reduce stress. 

Autism and Stress: Common Reasons for Stress in Parents

Parenting an child with autism increases stress levels beyond those of parents of typically developing children. When dealing with ASD, parents often become stressed by the need for constant vigilance, the financial burdens associated with therapy costs, sleep deprivation, and finding ways to manage challenging behaviors. The impact of this stress can extend beyond your individual well-being, affecting your marriage, personal relationships, work life, and parenting effectiveness.

Parental stress doesn’t just affect caregivers, either. Children with autism often thrive on routine, stability, and emotional regulation from those around them. So, when parents or caregivers are under a lot of stress, it can disrupt that sense of order, leading to increased anxiety, changes in behavior, and difficulty with emotional regulation for the child. Over time, this can make communication and progress in therapy more difficult, reinforcing cycles of frustration for both parent and child. So, it’s important to learn how to identify the triggers of your stress and find ways to manage it before it starts to affect other areas of your life.

Let’s take a closer look at these different stressors and the effect they have on parents. 

Psychological Stress

Taking care of a child with autism can increase the risk of psychological distress like depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues in a caregiver. The emotional toll of navigating daily responsibilities, advocating for an child with autism’s needs, and managing expectations can become overwhelming.

As a parent, your child’s needs tend to come first, but it’s important not to neglect what you need. Parents need to prioritize their own mental well-being and adopt methods to manage stress effectively. This can be done through developing healthy coping strategies, building up and relying on support networks, and practicing self-care, all of which play a big role in ensuring that both parents and children thrive in a balanced, nurturing environment.

Physical Stress

Chronic stress can have physical effects on parents of children with autism, making them more vulnerable to cardiovascular, immune system, and gastrointestinal issues. Research has shown that caregivers in these situations have higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol and biomarkers like CRP, which are linked to various physical illnesses. Fatigue and sleep difficulties may also be common, especially if the child struggles with sleep as well.

Social Stress

Autism spectrum disorder is often misunderstood by the general public, leading to blame or misunderstanding of a child’s behaviors. This can result in a stigma that isolates parents socially, causing them to withdraw from public gatherings and even strain relationships with friends and family. Marital stress may also be more prevalent in families with child with autism.

Financial Stress

Research suggests that parents of children with autism face financial challenges, such as lower income or reduced work hours, compared to other parents. Additional expenses related to ABA therapy costs, medical care, and childcare can add a significant financial burden. Some parents may even risk job instability due to frequent absences needed to care for their child. 

Tips for Stress Relief for Parents

Stress is an unavoidable part of parenting, but managing it effectively can make a huge difference in your well-being and your child’s growth. A few practical steps can help reduce your stress and build your resilience. Here are a few tips that could help you manage your stress:

Acceptance

One of the first steps toward reducing your stress is acceptance. Accepting that your child has autism and that it is not a disease to be “cured” or “fixed” can play a massive role in managing your expectations of both yourself and your child. Autism is part of who your child is, and every intervention moving forward should be based on that key understanding. Acceptance takes time, years for some, but it is an integral part of the success of your child and the overall family unit. 

It Takes a Village

Solid support systems are crucial for parents of children with autism. Don’t hesitate to lean on family members and close friends for help. Give them specific tasks to assist you. You don’t have to educate them about autism spectrum disorder yourself — direct them to resources where they can learn more. 

Additionally, the autism support groups often available at disability organizations, places of worship, schools, and community organizations can make a huge difference in managing your stress. Meeting other parents who understand what you’re going through can be a great support. They “get” the challenges and joys of raising a child with autism, and you can learn from each other’s experiences.

Focus On Reality and Not “What Ifs”

It’s natural to wonder what life would be like without autism, but dwelling on “what if” scenarios adds unnecessary stress. Focus on the present and embrace your child’s unique journey. Face uncertainties with a positive mindset. 

Ask yourself what your responsibilities are to your child and yourself in the present moment. By focusing on your child’s reality-based needs and what you can actually control, you can alleviate unnecessary stress.

Find Space for Yourself

When you feel overwhelmed by the various sources of stress as a parent of a child with autism, it can be helpful to start with small changes. Focus on getting enough sleep, incorporating regular exercise into your routine, and carving out some time for yourself. 

Even smaller changes — like slowing down your daily routine or drinking more water — can make a difference. 

For some, work can provide a break from caregiving for parents of children with autism, but it shouldn’t be the only reprieve. You need to have time and space outside of work where you can prioritize your emotional and physical well-being, pursue your interests, and nurture other relationships. 

Don’t let the fear of how your child will adjust to a new caregiver hold you back. Allowing your child to interact with other adults can be beneficial for both of you. Schedule respite care by hiring a babysitter, asking for help from family or friends, or exploring options like the Medicaid autism waiver. Use this time to rest, run errands, or do something that helps you relax.

Finding some time for yourself is essential. It can be as short as 15 or 20 minutes. Whether it’s quiet time while your child plays independently or trading caregiving responsibilities with your partner, prioritize moments of self-care. Taking care of yourself can have a positive impact on both your own well-being and your child’s functioning.

Emotional Regulation Is Key

As parents, we’re human and experience a range of emotions. Find healthy outlets to regulate your emotions, such as exercise, meditation, journaling, or engaging in activities you enjoy. These practices can help you manage stress and maintain emotional well-being.

Start Small and Mark the Wins

Recognize and celebrate both major and minor victories for you and your child. Acknowledging the positive aspects of your life can uplift your spirits and reduce stress. Share your wins with others and savor the progress you and your child make.

Find Professional Help

Don’t underestimate the value of professional help in managing your stress levels. If regular therapy or counseling is not feasible, there are still options available. Schedule an appointment with your primary care physician to ensure your physical health is in check. 

Disability or autism organizations, as well as your local school or hospital, can help connect you with support groups for caregivers of children with autism. These groups not only provide a listening ear but also offer valuable resources and information to reduce parenting stress.

Let Lighthouse Autism Center Support You and Your Child with Autism

Among the many autism resources available at the Lighthouse Autism Center are a host of autism parenting resources and strategies to help our parents raise their autistic children with empathy and effective care. Combined with our innovative Lighthouse Fusion ABA Therapy, parents are able to live happier and less stressful lives at home.